When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned: How Creativity Can Help You Embrace Change

What do you do when your painting—or your life—doesn’t turn out the way you imagined?

Every artist knows that revisions, mistakes, and surprises are part of the creative process. Sometimes the canvas takes on a life of its own, and what emerges is different—but often more beautiful—than what we originally planned.

Life works the same way. Change is inevitable. But if that’s true, why do we resist it so much? In this post, I’ll explore why change feels so hard, and I’ll share a few mindset shifts—along with art metaphors—that can help you not just cope with change, but actually embrace it.

Why We Resist Change

1. Our Brain Thinks Change is Dangerous

Our brains are wired for survival, which historically meant sticking with the familiar. Unfamiliar = unsafe. Even positive change can trigger that old “danger” alarm.

For example, every time I plan an international trip, part of my brain insists it’s too risky. I’ll think: Cancel the plans. Stay home. Hide under the covers with snacks. It’s predictable, safe, familiar.

But I’ve learned to notice that voice and say, “Oh, this is the part where my brain tells me we’re all going to die”—and then keep packing anyway. The same fear can surface when leaving a relationship, a job, or even a religion. Different feels unsafe, even when it’s the healthiest choice.

2. We Crave Predictability

Predictability feels like control. In high-demand religions, we’re taught: If you’re obedient, everything will work out. That illusion of control can be comforting, but it isn’t real.

When I began my faith transition, I knew my old way of operating wasn’t working. But trying something new felt terrifying. Many of us would rather stay in the discomfort we know than risk the discomfort we don’t.

3. Change Means Loss

Even when leaving something harmful, there are often good parts we’ll miss.

For me, I grieved the community of the church, the music, and the sense of purpose. But I couldn’t ignore the harm it was causing my family—and others. Grief and relief often live side by side in change.

4. Fear of Failure

Change requires decisions, and decisions bring risk. In high-control systems, we’re conditioned to believe there’s only one right answer. Step off the “correct path,” and you’ve ruined everything. No wonder so many of us freeze in indecision.

5. Identity Shifts

Change often shakes the question: Who am I now?

When I stopped working as a radiation therapist, I lost more than a career—I lost a role that gave me purpose. I wasn’t sure how to describe myself anymore. Losing titles like “Mormon,” “career woman,” or “mother with young kids” can feel like losing yourself.

6. Social Pressure

Sometimes the hardest resistance comes from others. Change threatens their sense of stability. Like being in a boat when someone stands up and rocks it—our instinct is to grab the sides and counterbalance.

When you change, others might double down on their beliefs to steady themselves. Learning to tolerate that tension is part of the process.

Mindset Shifts for Navigating Change

1. See Change as Creative Revision

Every painting goes through revisions. You sketch, add layers, make mistakes, and paint over them. Eventually, the work transforms into something you never imagined at the start.

Artists know: resisting where the piece wants to go doesn’t work. Following it often leads somewhere better. Life is no different. Some of the most beautiful parts of my life—leaving the church, starting this podcast, becoming an artist—were nowhere in my original plan.

2. Embrace the Messy Middle

Every painting has that ugly stage when the colors clash and nothing looks right. I’ve wanted to throw countless canvases in the trash at this point. But if I keep going, something beautiful eventually emerges.

Change has the same “messy middle.” Coaches call it the river of misery—the space between letting go of the shore and reaching the other side. It feels like you’ve made a mistake. But it’s not wrong—it’s just part of the process.

3. Collaborate with the Unknown

Watercolor is one of the most unpredictable mediums. Even with good materials and careful technique, the paint will spread in ways you didn’t intend. But that’s also where its beauty lies.

The same is true with life. You can prepare, plan, and practice, but you can’t control everything. Collaborating with the unknown means showing up, doing your best, and allowing life to surprise you.

4. Reclaim What Feels “Ruined”

Sometimes a painting feels beyond saving. But with scissors, a hole punch, or collage techniques, you can cut it apart and reimagine it into something new. Often the result is more interesting than the original.

Life is the same way. What feels ruined, wasted, or broken can become raw material for something beautiful. The failure, the mess, the disappointment—all of it can be reframed into meaning and growth.

Change as a Creative Practice

Change is unavoidable. Resistance is optional.

When you see change as part of the creative process, you open yourself to new possibilities you couldn’t have planned. Like a painting, your life is not fixed—it’s a living work of art, full of revisions, surprises, and unexpected beauty.

So the next time change comes knocking, maybe you’ll pick up your brush, welcome the unknown, and see what masterpiece might emerge.