The B- Version Is the One That Counts: Overcoming Perfectionism After High-Control Systems
Are You a Perfectionist? Here's Why That's Not the Compliment You Think It Is
Perfectionism gets worn like a badge of honor. I used to wear mine that way too. But underneath the polished exterior, perfectionism isn't a high standard — it's an impossible one.
In this episode, I break down what perfectionism actually is, why your brain defaults to it, and the practical antidote I use to get my own imperfect work out into the world.
I talk about the myth of "perfect" itself — how even our own definitions of it are nebulous, how one person's perfect manuscript is another person's rough draft.
I get into how Mormon culture trains this particular flavor of perfectionism from childhood, where testimony meetings only make room for certainty and struggle is only allowed in past tense. And I talk about how the wider culture backs this up — rewarding the finished book, not the drafts; the overnight success, not the seven invisible years before it.
I share what perfectionism actually looked like in my daily life — the schedule I built for myself with a checklist so long that missing one item gave me permission to abandon the whole day.
I walk through the small, sneaky ways perfectionism shows up for most of us: buying the supplies and never starting, quitting a new skill the second it gets hard, treating rest as something to be earned instead of allowed.
Then I get into what actually works. I talk about Brooke Castillo's concept of B- work — the idea that done imperfectly beats undone every time — and why creative practice is the best low-stakes place to build the muscle of showing up messy.
I share why I've had to get comfortable being cringe, why the loudest critics are rarely the people who've actually walked the path themselves, and a practical exercise for taking the sting out of other people's judgment.
If this episode resonates, I made something for you. My Reclamation Sketchbook is a free 7-day guided art journal — one creative prompt a day, no experience or talent required. It's the easiest place I know to practice doing something imperfectly on purpose.
Articles Referenced in this episode: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-discomfort-zone/202408/overcoming-perfectionism
