Episode 27 - The Psychology of Internalized Constraint

What happens when the rules you grew up with continue running your life long after you’ve left the system that taught them? In today’s episode, we’re talking about internalized constraint—the invisible expectations, fears, obligations, and “shoulds” that live inside your nervous system and shape your choices without you even realizing it.

Whether you grew up in Mormonism or any high-demand environment, you learned to be “good” in ways that required self-abandonment: don’t question, don’t feel too much, don’t want too much, don’t upset anyone, don’t take up too much space. Over time, those external rules become internal scripts. This episode helps you identify those scripts, understand how they form, and most importantly, learn how to dismantle them so you can make decisions from a place of inner authority rather than fear, guilt, or conditioning.

In this episode, you’ll learn: What “internalized constraint” actually means and why it’s not your fault How your upbringing trained your nervous system to override your intuition

The difference between internalized constraint and an internal locus of control

Why you still feel guilty or anxious even after leaving the church

How to recognize the internal cage vs. your authentic inner voice

Small, practical shifts that help you reclaim your agency

How creative expression helps loosen old conditioning and create internal spaciousness

Why this matters: You can leave the system but still have the system living inside you. Your healing isn’t about proving anything to anyone—it’s about learning to trust yourself again. And the good news? The moment you start paying attention to your feelings, your body, and your creativity, that internal cage begins to open.

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